Birth Mothers Day

Oh this is such a wonderful time of year as Mother's Day approaches I think about all of the mamas out there. Those that are moms for the first time will be filled with so much pride and thanksgiving on this day. Then there are those that are struggling with the loss of a child on this day...oh what they wouldn't give to just hold their baby/child one last time. There are those that are waiting for a placement to happen...they might have been waiting just weeks, or months, or maybe even years....this day will be filled with ache and wonder if their hope for a child will always be void.

But the Saturday before Mother's Day, May 8th this year, is dedicated to those that have placed a child for adoption. It's Birth Mother's Day. No, I still haven't found this to be a priority for Hallmark...but I have figured out ways to make our own cards for these precious moms in our life. I wanted to share a couple of things we have done in years past for Mother's Day for our birth mamas. And I was hoping that you could share yours. I am always searching for cool ideas for our birth moms and thought this would be a great way to come up with new ideas.

• Memory Book


• Family Picture framed in recordable frame-record kids saying "I love you Mandy"


• Mark Schultz's song "Everything to Me" typed out with handprints/footprints of child framed


• Piggies and Paws


• Adoption Jewelry-You can't really see this, but it's to die for cute. It says, "Forever in My Heart" and then we put Skielar on the other tag...Sadie's birth name. I got this on Etsy from The R House. (The cutie patootie baby w/ onesie above is from them too!)

• Max Lucado's Gift Book-God Thinks You're Wonderful
• Gift card if they like to shop (and what girl doesn't?)

Our incredible agency, Deaconess Pregnancy & Adoption Services, has put on a Birth Mom Retreat for the last 3 years for it's birth mothers over Birth Mother's Day. I love that they do this...especially as an adoptive mother to know that these women are cherished, pampered, and nurtured over this special weekend.

Please remember all of these women in your prayers over the next few weeks and especially in your church over Mother's Day. It is such an incredible day, but for so many women, it comes with deep pain and it may make all the difference in their world if someone remembers their loss and void on this day.

Any other gift ideas??? Please share!

crazy...

I tell you what, April was crazy! I have felt like there's a ton going on, and at the same time like I have done nothing at all but just maintain. I guess I should get used to that seeing that we are a pretty busy house right now.

So, I apologize to all of you that feel neglected...it's not just you. It's everyone. I am sorry, I have been the world's worst friend. And now I am using my blog to apologize? What??? That's crazy nonsense! {{{BOO}}}

But I have 4 incredible reasons/excuses for my neglect. My heart could not be more in love with my job as wife and mommy. And so, this is where my time and attention have been.

The best dad ever reading to the kids before bed. Notice he didn't even get a chance to change clothes!

And because I want you all to see just a little of what's been keeping me...here they are!

Lil' bit and her bubbles! She's so easy, she even enjoys her toes when she has no toys. I know you are thinking that all kids do this, but she's my first to enjoy her feet!

My funny guy loving his new hair style. Do all toddlers LOVE chewing gum or is it that I am the only one crazy enough to give it to my kids???

The boys and their science experiment. No lie, that's what Owen told me this bag O' water was...and it needed to be refrigerated for 4 "dayses". I love my life!

My incredible husband bought Sadie and I flowers just because he loves us. I LOVE tulips!

Owen and Baylor cheesing it up on the swing set. They sure do have fun together! What a blessing to have such wonderful neighbors!

I am in serious denial of Owen's age. Although I should be expecting it, he tells me he's 4 everyday (he's still 3 months shy!) . That face just makes me melt!Sadie's first wagon ride. I know, I know...she's 8 months old and only now getting in a wagon. Cooper feeding Sadie baby food. He did such a good job for his age, but all I could do was giggle watching her head wobble trying to chase his ever-moving spoon. Again, I can't tell you how much I laugh in a day!

Another huge blessing this week was that I was able to see the kids birth mom's this week. What an answered prayer to have relationships with these incredible women! Even more cool is their love not only for these children we share, but for our family. I can not share pictures although I know they would bring you all to tears.

Please pray for these women and all who have lost children over Mother's Day. This incredible holiday is so intensely painful for so many women, whether they are not able to carry children, are waiting for a child through adoption, have lost a child, or have placed a child...it's more than I could ever begin to imagine. My prayers are with you all on Sunday!

Loved

Today my heart can't help but be caught up in what is going on with our agency this weekend.

Today 18 women are gathering together to be celebrated as mothers. They come together with the common bond of choosing to place their child with a family. They come from different situations and have different stories, but find comfort in knowing they are not alone in their grief.

As we gathered small gifts for these women, I was continually overcome with the reality that this is why God brought me here. I couldn't believe that more; that God called us to domestic adoption not only to become parents, but so that we could love on and share Jesus with their birth families. What an honor it is to be able to show them our love and appreciation as Mother's Day approaches and they are without their child.

Part of our gift was a note to each mother. It's a difficult task to express your heart on paper to someone you've never met, but I couldn't help but think of how much I love these birth mothers. It's just how to get that across to them without freaking them out! I had been putting off writing this note for weeks.

It just happened that yesterday Owen picked out one of my favorite books for me to read to him. I always cry when reading this book. It's called "God Thinks You're Wonderful" by Max Lucado.

Here is just an excerpt that I want so badly for each of these birth mothers to hear,

"So promise me you'll never forget...that you aren't an accident or an incident...you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art, signed by God. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth... Flooded by emotion, overcome by pride, the Starmaker turns to us, one by one, and says, 'You are my child. I love you dearly.' You have captured the heart of God. He cannot bear to live without you. Let a tear appear on your cheek, and he is there to wipe it."

Please pray with me tonight and tomorrow for these women who have given so selflessly for the sake of their child. Pray for these women who wanted nothing more than to be able to parent their child, but knew they could not. Pray for them that there is healing during this retreat and that they will find great comfort in being together and being celebrated.

Remember Birth Mother's Day, it is the Saturday before Mothers Day!

Honoring Birth Moms

We had the pleasure of seeing Sadie's birth mom this past Saturday.

It was just perfect.

The weather was nice enough that we could meet her at a park and let the boys run around while we caught up with Momma G. It's always a challenge to try and entertain the boys so that we can really have quality time with Momma G and for her to have that special time with Sadie. So, just the fact that we could be outside was a huge blessing.

Sadie was in a great mood (when is she not?). She was wide awake, which she had not been at our last visits with Momma G. She was all smiles, you know...her huge, all face smile. It made Momma G so happy to see her so happy.

She was blowing bubbles (spitting) at Momma G, so she got totally soaked. She said the sweetest thing when Sadie covered her in slobber. She said, "I have been waiting a long time to have your slobber all over me little Skielar."

It hit me hard yet again how birth moms have thoughts and dreams of interacting with their children. They long to be covered in their spit and spit up. They would love to change just one more diaper. These thoughts happen hourly I imagine. I am sure as time and years pass, it's not as often, but I know there is not a day that goes by that they don't long to see their "baby".

This is why I LOVE adoption. It makes me a better mom.

Everytime I have to change clothes because I am soaked with puke, or that my toddler throws an all out tantrum, I remind myself that there is a mom out there that only wishes she could live this life.

But she chose me.

She chose for me to be her child's mommy. She chose for me to kiss skinned knees and wipe away tears and talk through frustrations. I am a better mom because of these birth moms.

Last year, our agency held a special retreat for birth moms over Mother's Day weekend. What a ministry they have!

Can you imagine being a birth mother on Mother's Day? Can you imagine the day going by without being told "Happy Mother's Day" by your child? Can you imagine being a mommy that has chosen to give her child the gift of a family, and then dealing with that loss and grief again on Mother's Day?

It breaks my heart to think of all of the birth moms out there that are not celebrated on this day.

So, last year we worked with the agency to honor birth moms on this hard weekend. They arranged the whole event, and we gathered gifts for these women. Several of you were such a big help last year, and I am hoping that some of you might want to help in some way this year.

If you have any ideas of what we could do, we would love to hear them. Last year we put together gift baskets for each girl. For the girls that spent the night, they got pj's and matching slippers. We just really wanted to make them feel special, pampered, loved and honored. And, you know what...they loved it!

So, if you want to help...please comment and let me know your thoughts. We could use small gift cards for movie tickets, Sonic and such. I think we are going to do gift baskets again (unless we have any other cool ideas). So money would also be appreciated. Last year we also included notes to the birth moms just sharing our love, prayers, appreciation and respect to all of them. So even if you can only send a letter, that is HUGE!

If you comment or email me @ mollykshockley@hotmail.com , I will send you a stamped envelope in the mail so that it will make it easier on you. If you want, you can send stuff directly to the agency and get yourself a nice tax deduction! Their info is linked on the right of the blog.

Love you all and thanks for helping us to love on these incredible women. Thank you for helping us show them that we never forget the sacrifice they have made.