Well, that makes for an interesting title. Makes you wanna read on, huh?
I think in an attempt to get your attention and not give you so much info about the book that you wouldn't read it, I was very vague about Black Baby White Hands when I first talked about it.
I know, I have serious control issues, right?
Why not just suggest the book and tell you why I liked it? Because I am controlling that's why. I know...I need recovery.
It is a horribly hard book to read. In all honesty if my dear friend who I trust with these difficult issues had not told me, "Molly you will want to put it down. But just keep going. Read it from front to back." I know I would have stopped reading. In fact, it's why I never read it when I heard about it years ago. And it did take me a full 2 weeks to read. It's heavy stuff.
As I read the book and really opened my mind up to trusting the author, it became so clear to me how off I was in my views on transracial adoption, racism and prejudice.
Let me be clear...I do not think transracial adoption is wrong. Quite frankly, if we don't allow this/encourage this, I can't think of what other options there are. Would it be better for black children to go to foster care than be placed with parents of a different race? So this is not at all what I am saying. Transracial adoption is what we CHOSE...and if we had it to do all over again, we would do nothing different.
But what I loved about the book was that the author talked about what would have helped him. It gives us parents a much better understanding of how this must feel. He goes into great detail describing his heart and emotions...he reminds me so much of one of my children and I know that it is why I so appreciated his words.
Someone commented that their children have never had issues with this. WONDERFUL! I think that's fantastic, but some of mine have and I am so glad I now feel a little bit better prepared. I don't think that all of mine will, but heck, you just never know. What I am thankful for was that my kiddos felt okay sharing with me their heart and their hurt.
Someone commented about how to handle if your child is doing the staring... Perfect way to handle it; just talk to them about how God made everyone different and beautiful. And please let me point out that my kids do their fair share of staring. Especially at all brown families. How funny is that? They so wish Blake and I were black. Staring is something that happens and sometimes it's like watching a car wreck...you just can't not look. Whether it's because you think we are cool or that we have a beautiful family or because Cooper has a booger...it happens. Just do your best to minimize it and remember that just because you are interested doesn't make it right to ask questions.
Yep, you read that right. No questions at all. Just like I don't ask you if your kids are your step-kids, please don't ask if mine are "real" sisters/brothers. Just like I don't ask how your child came out of your body, don't ask me "where I got them". Just like I don't ask you how much your c-section or epidural costs, don't ask me how much adoption costs. Just like I don't ask you how long you were in labor with your 6 year old, don't ask me if my children are foster kids or how long I waited for them. You get the gist...if we are just meeting in the line at the grocery store or at the zoo or waiting to be seen at the doctor...you don't need to know my kids' stories. Shoot...they don't even fully know them yet. The kids may stare but its usually the parents that make it worse.
If you really want to know, you can email me or call me or come to Chosen. Heck, you could even scoot close to me and whisper your questions. And if we are good friends, you already know these things and chances are I told you when I wanted you to know the details....just like when you told me you only pushed three times for Johnny's delivery ;) But for Pete's sake DO NOT ASK THESE THINGS IN FRONT OF MY KIDS!!!!
Now, the funny thing about this is that the people I really want/need to hear this are not reading this blog. Shoot. All of you reading this have most likely never said something off hand. And if ya did, I knew your heart. It's all those random strangers out in public. Oh and what is it about church and Oklahoma?
I digress...back to my dudes...the great thing that I have noticed when these moments come up with my kids is that they are usually pretty quick and passing. It's not like they go around moping all day or can't quit thinking about it (at least from what I can gather). They seem to want to quit talking about it before I am done mulling it over. We'll see if/how that changes over the years.
The thing I couldn't get over about this book was how well he articulated his feelings and how he described exact things that I had thought. I do hope you will read it.
Again, thanks for your encouragement. Like any good control freak, I didn't want you to think that our kids are having a horribly hard time. So I had to respond. Dear God I do need recovery.
Flarp is $1 at WalMart and it made day 3 in our shoebox a riot. Judge me, I don't mind. I know...I will pay later when my precious 2 year old princess laughs at her own tooties. Oh wait, she already does that. Her brothers taught her. 
Seriously, they had so much fun. 
Cooper cannot quit kissing this pumpkin. It's hilarious. He was the same way with Sadie and it's so sweet. Not that Owen and Sadie don't clobber her too, but with Cooper it's non-stop.
So what do you do when you don't have a bathtub? You bathe your babies in the sink, right? She LOVED it. She pretty much never gets a bath by herself...so this was fun for her to get some alone time. 
Blake's schedule has been incredible. I mean seriously...we are so blessed to be here and get to see him more! So today, I begged him to take us to town (we are staying in Aspen, but north of main street so we don't see any action). We went to one of the parks we found last year and had a blast despite the cold weather.
Bedtime stories. All 4 kids are sharing one room. We are having a bit of a time adjusting to this as one child in particular thinks this is a slumber party and is keeping the others awake. We are praying that they will adjust in time. We welcome any ideas/tips though!
As a part of "school" and a science experiment we made pudding popsicles. So fun! 
They were a hit after dinner tonight! 
Another school activity. We made a Valentine's Day chain. The kids had a blast talking about all the people we love in our lives. 
The kids have actually had a lot of fun doing school at home. I am not sure I am any good at this or that I am teaching them anything...but it sure is fun for all of us. Thanks to my precious MIL for putting together a tub of everything I would need. Wow, it's making our days so much fun!
Sadie doing watercolor. She later drank the water while I was changing Emery's diaper. Sweet. I knew there was a risk in bringing out the paints with Sadie, but I thought it was more that she might paint herself or the wall...wow girl. You crack me up!
Blake and I were completely pooped when we got here just after midnight, but we were so thankful to have had a safe and uneventful trip that we didn't care. So we were supposed to spend the night in Denver and then head to Aspen on Monday, but once we got to Denver and checked the weather for the next day it appeared that the snow storm was coming in earlier than expected. So we fed the kids, bathed them, put them back in jammies, let them run off some energy and headed back out two hours later. 
I know the next one is a bit fuzzy, but check out that grin!!!!! It takes up her whole face. 
Owen sure does love being the oldest and taking care of his sisters. He is growing into such a sweet young man. He hasn't slowed down one bit; he's a mover and a shaker that's for sure!
This is an awful pic of me, but I had to post because of Emery's expression. Mercy, how stinking cute is she?
The girl cousins did nails, had a tea party and watched a movie while the boys went to spend the night at Aunt Laura's and Uncle Greg's house. We're gonna miss our cousins!
Oh my lands, were we blessed to have the most incredible Judge Chapelle to do our final finalization! He was beyond incredible and made everyone in that courtroom cry. He said the most precious and encouraging things to Blake and I...we truly left on cloud 9.
Getting ready for our hearing!
Owen was not in the mood for pictures, so we did what we could! 
Mommy and daddy getting questioned. Of course I started crying so the boys were worried about me. Cooper wanted me to hold him...so sweet.
We finally got a picture of the judge holding our newest member! We thought we'd never have a cool pic like this!
The boys and Sadie also got to sign to be Emery's forever brothers and sister. So sweet! I thought it was just a fake copy, but it actually is an official part of Emery's papers!!!
Just doesn't get better than this baby girl. Mommy loves you so much and I pray that I can raise you in a way that glorifies God and brings honor to your birth family. 
Emery's grandparents. Big thanks to Noonie and Papa for having everyone over for dinner afterwards and to Noonie for all the great pictures!
And for the hair title...another friend who has adopted pointed out these sites for hair care and WHOA! I'd better get to practicing, huh? I got nothing on these ladies...just look at Sadie's puffs.