"So promise me you'll never forget...that you aren't an accident or an incident...you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art, signed by God. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth...Flooded by emotion, overcome by pride, the Starmaker turns to us, one by one, and says, 'You are my child. I love you dearly.'" Max Lucado, God Thinks You're Wonderful

Saturday, March 7, 2009

"Lack of Knowledge"

On Friday we completed our last post-placement visit for Sadie's adoption!

Now our paperwork will be sent to our attorney (Aunt Becki) and we'll file for a day in court!

Here is Sadie with our social worker, Sandy and Blake and I at the visit!

Sadie and momma outside while the boys play...we've had great weather lately.

Many of you have asked...we did not get to see Momma G on Thursday. We'll try again sometime soon, but thanks for the prayers.
As a hair update, we tried some of the products that the stylist gave us and WOW...it's good stuff!

The boys LOVE it and that says a lot!

I went by her salon on Wednesday and picked up a bottle! If you're interested it's called "Mixed Chicks" leave-in-conditioner. They also have a website http://www.mixedchicks.net/

As you might imagine the boys ditched the hair caps (scarves). Owen said they made him hot! I am going to have to buy some satin pillows (Gigi already found some at Bed Bath and Beyond)!
I have so enjoyed the comments posted over the last week about how to handle issues that may come up concerning race.

It has been so refreshing to hear so many people share their hearts about this topic.

I feel the need to explain a few things that perhaps I should have before the post on the workshop.

Blake and I know without a doubt that God chose these children specifically for us.

We dreamed of them for years and requested from the adoption agency to be shown to birth moms carrying brown babies. In college I remember hearing a Nicole C Mullins song that I think was titled "Cocoa Baby" and it made my heart flutter with hope that someday we could have a brown or black baby.

I don't want my concern in the last post to come off that this happened by chance or may have been something we didn't know we were getting in to.
We have always known we would be a colorful family.

It's just that as children become yours, whether through pregnancy or adoption, they become yours. We forget they were adopted and that they are any different from us. All of the things we wanted to be so intentional about in raising children of a different race simply faded.

If you've followed our blog for any length of time, you know that we do a lot in our lives to be intentional and sensitive about adoption and cultural stuff.

If you are friends or family you've helped us search for books with brown people, you've colored stockings to have brown ballerina's (thanks Gigi), given us biracial baby dolls, black cabbage patch dolls (thanks Vicki), and you've searched high and low for brown Willow tree angels for your nativity (thanks Noonie).

Our whole family has made adjustments to make sure our children feel loved and proud of their beautiful brown skin.

But, I forget about people who have a "lack of knowledge" (this will replace the use of the word racist-thanks Traci).

That is where the last post came from...

How do we prepare our kids for it and handle it?

I heard once that having children is like watching your heart walk around outside of your body.

That couldn't be more of the truth.

It's such an intense feeling of wanting to just pull your children in and lock them at home for fear they might be hurt.
But that is not what God has called us to.

So, thank you for all of you that shared and considered this with us.
The workshop was a wonderful reminder to be intentional about helping our children feel comfortable with their heritage. It reminded us to involve them in culturally norm things as much as possible. It brought to light how even though we live in a large metropolitan city and see lots of diversity...we still need to purposeful about things.
More than anything it helped me to remember how parenthood is the biggest thing I have faced in my life that has daily brought me to Christ.
There is no way Blake and I will make it through this without His guidance along the way.
We cannot do this without teaching our children about His love and perfect plan for their lives.


mom2many said...

Sadie has a beautiful smile. She just gets prettier and prettier! About your recent posts...maybe God has called you to be an "educator". As a foster parent, that's what I felt like most days. Education people about the system, the children involved, the bios, etc. You have the heart for it...me...not so much! LOL! I don't have a lot of mercy! So glad your adoption journey with Sadie is almost complete...I know it doesn't make any difference in your heart, just on paper! Hopefully we will be there in the next few weeks with S&J!

Becki Francy said...

So stinkin cute! I love the pics of sissy. You have such a good heart and are such a good mom! I so remember you loving that "mocha drop" song. Glad you have good hair stuff...think we could throw it on Ragon's hair? Also - where are the pics of wilton arde?

Kristy said...

The picture of you and Sadie smiling outside it looks as though she has picked up your smile, she must see it alot so precious. Your posts are amazing and I'm learning so much from them. Keep it up love reading your blog!

Kristy said...

The picture of you and Sadie smiling outside it looks as though she has picked up your smile, she must see it alot so precious. Your posts are amazing and I'm learning so much from them. Keep it up love reading your blog!

Terra said...

I too LOVE the picture of you and Sadie outside. It is absolutely beautiful. I don't think I told you, but I love your hair. Super cute! Sweet post Molly! Can't wait to see you this week!

Hendrick Family said...

Look at that baby girl!! She's breath taking, Molly...and that smile...it lights up her whole face.


Sweet Patience said...

Hi, I came across your blog through Chassidy's.
Your daughter is beautiful! Does she have rosey cheeks? They look rosey in the pictures.

I think that you are doing a great job reaching out and realizing that this will be a journey that will be everchanging and you will constantly learn something new. The great thing is that you are open and have a desire to learn.

I commented on your topic March 1st on transracial workshop today.

Shelley said...

Great stuff, Molly. I've got to go find some Mixed Chicks leave-in today!! I need your email address. We want to invite your family (even if you can't come) to join us in Dallas the last weekend this month when we come home from Ethiopia! send me a note at keithandshel@mac.com

Laurie said...

Hey Molly!

cute kids! I'm sure you are very excited to go to court. Court for us with our little ones was such a special day!

I have some recent posts on Transracial adoption on my blog's sidebar.

Best Wishes!

Chassidy said...

CONGRATS on your last official "interview" with the agency! I love the picture of Sandy with Sadie! We have ours at the end of the month and I can hardly wait for that magic court date! Turner's Gotcha day!