"So promise me you'll never forget...that you aren't an accident or an incident...you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art, signed by God. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth...Flooded by emotion, overcome by pride, the Starmaker turns to us, one by one, and says, 'You are my child. I love you dearly.'" Max Lucado, God Thinks You're Wonderful

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

One of those days!

Today I woke up hopeful that we might leave the house!

I planned to surprise the boys and take all 4 of us to the Omniplex! They were so excited.

I should have seen it coming, but I didn't.
Cooper has shown NO interest in the potty. I really don't want to push him, but I was terribly spoiled with Owen using the potty (no "training" involved) a couple weeks after he turned 2.

This morning Cooper said he wanted to wear "underoos" as he calls them.

I was so excited. I didn't care that he hadn't or wouldn't sit on the potty.

See, why didn't I see this coming!
I stuffed candy in my pockets for treats and really talked up the potty at the museum in hopes he might tinkle there.

We celebrated how cute he looked in his (hand-me-down) underoos. He loved how he could feel his buns through his pants. Boys!

We celebrated when we got to the museum with dry pants!

We went straight to the cool potty at the museum. Owen showed Cooper how to do it and Cooper tried. But no delivery.

Not 5 minutes later, he was soaked to the bone. He even drenched their wooden stool he was standing on!
No worries, I had back up everything...okay except for shoes and he soaked those babies too!

I was cool. He was cool.

He didn't even care that he was wet.
He totally believes that line in Billy Madison, "You're not cool unless you pee your pants!"

After about 5 minutes I told him we needed to go change.

We were getting looks.
As if I don't look odd enough with 3 brown babies so young...now one was obviously wet and his mom didn't seem to care.

Someone's going to report me.

He hid under an exhibit.

Now I was starting to care!

Stay cool. This kid loves to draw me in for a good power struggle.

I didn't stay cool long. I could feel the eyes of every person without toddlers staring holes into the back of my head. (You know all moms of toddlers were feeling for me and probably sweating for me!)

Now, at this time I have Sadie hooked to me via Baby Bjorn and she's taking a bottle.

I know, nice timing!

So, I am trying to catch Cooper and keep the pee off of everything including myself and little miss.

I finally catch him and hold him under my arm around his belly, legs out.

Can you see it?

He was kicking and screaming!

More eyeballs staring at me!

What I wouldn't have given for a camera at that moment.

I am not sure who looked funnier, me or Cooper?

Anywho, many toddler mommies pretended not to see me because they know what it's like.

Many offered to help.

We finally got changed and everyone was fine (and yes, I put him in a diaper!).

I took a deep breath and we actually enjoyed the Omniplex!

These are the moments which I remind myself we almost didn't get to keep this little guy.

I would take these pee soaked, power struggle, 2 year old episodes anyday because he's a SHOCKLEY forever!

I love you Cooperman. I am so pumped for when you use the potty, but this isn't going to happen for quite some time I am sure!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

So much to say!

Wow, I have missed the blog world. How sad is that?

There are so many things to say about the last week and how special it was for our family. I am not sure where to start or what to even document.

Of course, this was Sadie's first Christmas so that was extra special. And then Christmas with the boys just gets more and more fun every year as they understand more.

My favorite moment had to be in the Christmas eve service with all of the kids. There's just something about singing worship with my children that brings me to tears. There was a candle lighting at the end of the service and it was incredible to see the boys hold their candles and to think of what that moment represented for us as Christians.

Yes, I know they were just thinking about how cool it was they got to get that close to fire!

But, it took my breathe away and made me teary.

Several times this week Cooper decided to lead large groups of people in prayer. Let me say it was adorable, but it made me sweat in fear he might thank God for poop and toots.

He prayed in the Christmas eve service, then on Christmas day with my family, and again today after church before lunch. Every time someone announced it was time to pray, he squeezed his sweet eyes shut and raised his voice to pray.

We may have a pastor on our hands.

This is what he said on Christmas eve... "Thank you God for baby Jesus and baby Jonah and the whale. Thank you for my friends and family. A-mem!"

Sadie was a trooper and was passed from person to person for lots of loving. I cannot say enough how sweet this baby girl is. Not to mention how yummy she is!

Of course the kids enjoyed new toys, but more than anything they soaked up each and every minute with their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. The boys layed down on the floor in full out tantrum style when we announced we were heading home today. We had been with my family for almost a full week!

Sadie and Greyson a.k.a Lil Bit and Slim

So here are some fun pictures from the week...
Are they not the cutest parents ever???
She is "standing" or holding her full weight on her legs. She's pretty strong!
The kids sang Christmas songs for us and dressed up with whatever they could find in the attic!A cute gift idea for grandparents...each kid now has a plate at their house with their name on it! Check out paperdoll designs on the right!

She is trying so hard to sit up!

Sister got a new exersaucer as a gift! Thanks Kent and Vicki! It's to die for!

Cooper showing off his talent with pipe cleaners. They got lots of arts and craft stuff in their stockings!

I hope you were able to sit back and soak up this celebration of the birth of Christ.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Miracle #2

It would be hard to let today pass without remembering how our lives were changed on December 18th two years ago.

I wrestle with how much of Cooper's story to share because he doesn't fully understand it yet, and it's not really mine to share.

But in saying that, I also want to share in God's great miracles. Knowing that most of you that read this already know Cooper's sweet story and the struggle birthmothers have in choosing adoption for their children, I want to talk about today.

That struggle became ever so apparent when we brought Cooper into our family and we watched his birthmom grieve the loss of her son. It's something you would never want anyone to have to go through, let alone a woman that has touched you so much.

So, this day will forever stand out in my mind as one that changed our lives. We had to lose our sweet Cooper in order to surrender to God's plan.

I would never want Cooper's story to be any different than the way God wrote it.

It made me a better mother.

It made me understand in a new way the loss of a child that the birthmother experiences.

It made me appreciate my sweet husband as I watched him guide us through this situation.

It brought me to my knees and to my Father's side. I felt his presence like I never had before.

It was the nightmare I never wanted to experience, but at the same time I look back and know it was so good for me.

And, since you know that Cooper is forever a Shockley...you know the sweet ending!

Today I want to thank our families for dropping everything to be by our side as we searched for God's will in this. It was incredible the time you spent with us as we journeyed through this. I will forever be grateful for your presence.
Thank you to my friends and church family that prayed with us and over Cooper, your words and emails were so comforting.
Thank you Laura, mom and dad for helping me to go through Cooper's stuff...I will never forget those moments of finding Cooper's dirty clothes and I could smell his sweet body. I ached to smell him again and wondered if I would ever see him again.
Thank you Steph for helping me find something to remember Cooper by...you knew I was so scared that everyone would forget him.
Thank you Becki for calling me at night when it was hardest to breath.
Thank you mom for holding me that Wednesday morning as I wept. I clearly remember you telling me to invision Cooper in Jesus' arms. That gave me great rest.
Today I want to thank Mandy for Cooper and for listening to God even though it caused you intense pain. You amaze me with your wisdom and strength. I love you more than you know!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Three years ago today my sister, my brother-in-law, Owen and I were in a car wreck.

We were headed to Colorado for vacation with my family (we were all caravaning).

We were driving on the highway going about 70 mph and we spun and rolled over.

The car stop rolling and landed on its side, drivers side down.


(these are my sister's pictures, sorry I couldn't get them downloaded!)

I was in the back with Owen, who was 4 months old. I remember screaming and putting my body over him so that nothing would hit him as we rolled. Our luggage was rolling too!

When we stopped I could see nothing was obviously wrong with Owen, but two thoughts invaded my head.

I could see we were still in the middle of the highway...was someone going to hit us before we could get out of the car?

And, is my sister alive (sorry David, my thoughts went to Becki)?

My brothers-in-law appeared through Owen's window. They had climbed up the car, and were asking for me to lift Owen out.

I then peeked my head up to Becki, she was crying and bleeding and in pain...but was alive!

I kept asking if someone was going to hit the car before we could get out. Sean and David told me there was a semi that was blocking both lanes and we were safe.

It's so important for me to remember this day.

To remember that we rode in an ambulance to the hospital to be told we were fine. Becki and David were the worst and only had minor scrapes and cuts (and Becki was given a sexy neck brace).

Owen didn't have as much as a single scrape, neither did I.

While we were at the hospital we were told the same thing happened not a week earlier, and 3 children were killed.

So today, I give thanks that three years ago, I thought I was going to lose my baby, my sweet and precious dream. Three years ago, I had the thought of seeing my sister bleeding to death in the front seat and having to live life without her.

We never got to thank that truck driver for keeping us safe and blocking the road while we got out of the car. The ambulance whisked us off and I didn't as much as give it a thought to thank him. I forever wish I had. So many people stopped to help us. One lady gave us...gave us...her childs carseat to take Owen in the ambulance in.... She carried her son home in her arms, said they didn't live far.

Today, I told Owen about the wreck and showed him pictures. He was very interested in the ambulance ride. I want him to know how God saved him and that He has great purpose for his life.

I don't want to ever forget that this happened because with it came great miracles and I want to glorify God for saving us that day.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Boys will be boys!

Well, I've gotta be the luckiest momma on this earth. That's just too cute for words! We sure are blessed!

We heard the sweetest voice coming from our room the other night. It was Cooper saying, "And baby Jesus was sweeping, and baby Jesus was kwy-ing..." over and over. I got Blake's attention and then ran for my camera. I knew what he was doing and it just melted my heart. So here's our sweet Cooper "reading" the Bible!

We've had a fun week last week and had some great family time.

One really cool thing about having a daddy that puts in a lot of hours at work is that when we do get him home around 5, we are in heaven! We sure don't take that for granted!

If you know Blake and I, you know we love just hanging out and playing with the kids. This is when the funny things happen and you get to hear what they are really thinking.

Blake and I pray that most of what happens at home, only happens at home! They are great kiddos, but boy are they BOYS (of course I am just talking about Owen and Cooper)! They want to be naked at all times, or at least only partially dressed.

They enjoy and giggle at any and every bodily function.

They both have a fascination with buns, bare buns.

And our newest development is using a certain body part as a gun. That's right people, it's a gun now.

The first time we saw this being used as a gun, Blake and I had to hide our faces to not let him know how hilarious it really was!

Where do they get these ideas???

So, today in Sunday school the boys had a birthday party for Jesus. They even made little dolls that were their own little baby Jesus. It started out so cute and Cooper was showing everyone his Jesus and kissing him and loving on him.

It slowly turned into a bat, he was swinging poor "Jesus" at everybody and everything...

And then, on the way home Blake and I hear from the back..."I see His buns!"

We laughed and then realized he was talking about his sweet baby Jesus' buns! He giggled his sweet giggle and then showed Owen.
Then he told Owen to spank him. So Owen did! They laughed so hard and kept doing it.

I know that Jesus was laughing at this child's play too!

Earlier this week we had the pleasure of seeing Mommy G. It is always so good to see her. Of course we think about her daily, but to be with her and see the love she has for Sadie is unreal.

It's a constant and vivid reminder for me of the sacrifice in love she makes on a daily basis. It is so like what God did when He chose to send us Jesus knowing the pain in would bring in the end.

It's so incredible to see someone be so selfless and so wise. To choose Sadie's well being over her own. To know that her decision will cause her deep pain and grief, but that it was the right decision. I do hope Sadie learns these things from Mommy G and has a heart like her.

Again, reminds me so much of God's love and sacrifice during Christmas. He wrapped himself in flesh to give us something we could not give ourselves...to let us know Him more and BE with us and die for us. He sent us a sweet baby knowing what the future held for that child...

During this season we have had constant reminders of God's deep love for us as we look at our children. We've also had reminders of our call to truly live out our faith not only during the Christmas season, but also with all that's going on in this world to keep our focus on Him all year through!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Some new pictures...

Just had to post some new pictures. You know I am obsessed not only with my camera, but my subjects even more so!

Some are from church when we dedicated Sadie. They take family pictures for you, how nice!

I had just finished feeding Sadie when Cooper asked to hold her. I told him to sit in the chair and I would put her in his lap. He did so and I put Sadie down and he then said, "Take a picture, mom!" Melt my heart! He knows that I love pictures and that this was indeed a great moment!
So, Owen obliged us all and got in on the fun...but told me he would need a treat for doing so!

Introducing....Slim and Lil bit
Remember they are 8 weeks apart!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

5 stockings!

I can't tell you how my heart just bursts with joy when I see these stockings hanging on the fireplace.

It's a reminder to me that God is giving me my greatest and deepest desires of a family...a large family!

I couldn't help but hang my "Joy" sign in the wreath. That is what our home is full of this Christmas! My sweet friend from church, Shani, made these for me. They were supposed to be Christmas presents, but I loved them so much that I stole one and used it myself! Can you believe that sign was only $6? Yep, she's pretty talented (and reasonable)!

Shani, you have to start a blog for your stuff! I promise to help you! It's too good not to share!

Today we went to our Deaconess Christmas party. What a joy it is to gather with families brought together by adoption. How cool is it for our kids to see other families like ours, where you don't "match". And, I always get more ideas for the kids' hair and skin...I love these parties for so many reasons.

There were families there who adopted 10 years ago and are waiting to adopt again, for the 3rd time...God is working.

There was a family there that is waiting on the arrival of their son, this will be their 2nd adoption! God is working.

We saw Santa and Owen had no trouble telling him he wanted "presents". My men aren't hard to please with gifts!

The best part about this Santa visit was that the first thing Santa and Ms. Claus did was read the story of Jesus's birth and explain what Christmas was about. Santa added that the best gift of all was the gift of Jesus! Not often do I hear Santa speak of Christ! Thanks Deaconess!

On Wednesday, we took time to decorate the tree. The boys LOVE doing this, and of course that makes me so super excited that they love this... I am sure in 6 years this won't be cool anymore!

She's a trooper! Owen loves feeding his sister! Can you believe I got all eye balls looking at me? Yes, no one is looking particularly happy, but still there was no bribe involved in this picture!

Oh my goodness, that has to be the most adorable picture. Can you tell how much he loves her? Look at the way he's grabbing her arm! She's a bit frightened, but you would be too!

I was proud of myself that I haven't gone back and moved any ornaments, even on the branches that are almost touching the ground because they have so many ornaments!

I hope we are all finding ways to enjoy this time of year and show our kids the true meaning of Christmas! I love hearing what other families are doing to help their kids understand at an early age what Christmas means, so if you have anything fun, please share!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

3 months old!

Sadie amazes me with how small she is yet, she is so strong.

She is rolling over from belly to back, she's got quite strong arm and leg muscles.

checking out her "bow head". I think she likes it!

She is smiling much more now, but rarely can I catch it on camera. I tried so hard this morning and of course the one time she had a huge smile she had just spit up and I was trying to clean her up! This was the best I got, just a glimpse!
She is very serious and very much into her surroundings...it may be her two older brothers that are constantly in motion around her. They generally are moving towards her at fast speeds, so I am sure this is cause for concern and might be the reason she seems so serious around them!

The boys are still obsessed with her and surprisingly (just because of their age) have not been too rough with her. They love to talk to her, but it's usually more of a yell and they stand about 2 inches from her eye balls. We've discussed inside voices and respecting sister's space...but it's taking some time to sink in. I can see this being a problem in about 12 years for Sadie, so I thought I should start now on training her brothers!

When we check on her while she's napping they are so good to whisper and Owen tells me she's "adorable".

The boys are great about Sadie's room. When I go in to put her down for a nap, I leave her door cracked while I lay her down. They will follow me to her door and just wait there without coming in. Now, if you know our boys...you know this is big. They are normal toddler, energetic, exploring, live wires! We do Baby Wise and Baby Whisperer around here, so it's not like I am in there for 20 minutes, but it's nice even for that short time for her to not have any distractions.

Sadie is starting to look more and more like Mommy G and I love that. I can see her in Sadie's eyes. Of course her long skinny body reminds me of her as well (sister's got better genes than we could have ever given her for sure!)

We love you Sadie bug! What a happy 3 months you've given us!


What happens when 2 year olds try to use scissors while mommy is on the phone?

Yes, I realize that I gave them the scissors and that I was sitting right there. It happened so quickly that I couldn't help but giggle. He was shocked that when you turn the scissors in toward your belly and open and close them that you could acutally cut your shirt!


Blog games...I guess I should share a little.

My sister challenged me to this one.

List 5 favorite addictions:

1. I love coffee, and by coffee I mean, fierce, strong coffee and LOTS of creamer and equal. I like it in the mornings and love to share it with my husband. I would make a bad mormon.

2. The Biggest Loser-yep I am a huge fan!

3. Date nights, never have enough of them, but love them when we do!

4. Christmas music

5. Gum, if you know me, you know I love gum! Right now it's Polar Ice Extra...yes, I am a dork!

What is your husband's name? Blake Edward

How long have you been married? 6.5 years!

How long did you date? Almost 7 years. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 15! Yes, that means I drove on our first date!

How old is he? 29 just like me, but I am 3 months older!

Who is taller? He is!

Who can sing best? We often laugh about how we both are horrible singers, but it doesn't stop me from singing! He never sings though!

Who is smarter? Yea, all that know us are laughing at that question. He is. Although I think I am smart, he graduated top in his class in med school, so I think he wins!

Who does the laundry? Me, I stay-at-home. It's kind of in the job description!

Who pays the bills? He does!

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Me

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Me, I am usually wrong-suck! Although, he's good at admitting it when he is wrong.

Who kissed who first? He kissed me. He took me to an OU game and told me that it was tradition when OU scored, you had to kiss. Now, me being the youngest of 4 girls, I had no clue of football traditions??? And, I was dying to kiss him! (And we'll both be quick to say, it was awful!)

Who wears the pants? He does for sure!