Kiddie post & plea

 So if anyone is reading at all you've caught on that I have been horrible at posting about these sweet lil lovies these past few months.  So I wanted to give some updates on them!!!  They are the whole reason I started blogging in the first place :/   Here is Sadie this summer being her crazy self...she is SO strong and can do the monkey bars all by herself.  She has some serious upper body muscles.  She is FAST and can nearly out run me.  She is constantly smiling and giggling and mothering.  She loves everything and will make it her baby to love on and take care of.  She talks to babies, grown adults, dogs, bugs, balls, dolls, etc like they are her very best friend.  Its super sweet most times, but awfully scary when she grabs adult men by the hands to play with her.  Perhaps we need to cover stranger danger again! 

 Owen is an incredible young man.  He is a wonderful leader at school and a huge help to his teacher.  He is very active and loves playing basketball, riding scooters, playing football, soccer, golf and tennis.  He is sure having fun with a backyard, we missed that when living in an apartment last year.  He loves to read and often stays up with a flashlight reading past his bedtime.  He too is a fast runner, but it's not his favorite thing to do.  He is a great listener, master negotiator, & is sensitive to others needs.  Tonight as I walked in to scratch the boys backs Owen started singing a song we had sung in church...but he never sings during praise so I didn't know he was listening...he sung it perfectly pausing just as the song is written, "My heart will si-ing...no other na-ame...Jesus...Jesus" over and over.  Oh love, there couldn't be a sweeter sound for a mama to hear, and even more so for our Father to hear!  This year he turned 7!  I don't know how we have a 7 year old!

 Emery, who we usually call Emme, is at such a fun age...most of the time.  She is particularly frustrated when everyone else has someone to pick on and she does not :(  So we are working on talking about our frustrations rather than hitting them out.  Whoops.  Her favorite things to say right now are: I gonna tewl mommy!, I no wan to, I tootie, No Sadie pfthtttt (we have a minor spitting problem), Aw we goin?, Aw da guys? and I do it!!!!!  She still loves to cuddle, is left handed and is our best sleeper!  She is TALL and skinny.  Most people mistake her for being 3 and older, and she just turned 2.5 this month!  She talks really well, still loves to sing and knows a lot of songs and she loves to pray, even for large groups of people.  Be still my heart!

 Cooper!  Coop turned 6 in November and got a bouncy house of all things.  Have you ever checked out purchasing one of those boogers instead of buying one?  No?  You should.  Google it!  We just had a few grands chip in and vwa-la, we got to keep the dang thing UNTIL IT POPS!!!  It has been endless fun and can hold up to 500 lbs so that means that occasionally we have a mom that hops in and plays monster tickler.  Fun times.  It's even more fun when you have no furniture and can inflate it in room and just leave it out during the winter.  Cooper is another blessing of a kid.  He is bursting with passion, compassion, ambition, skills (he has wonderful penmanship as well as one heck of an arm) and love.  He often comes home from school and has drawn pictures of the crucifixion and resurrection during his brain break at school.  Just like with everyone of our kids, I cannot wait to see how this guy follows God through life. 

 One thing I have hesitated to share about our Sadie is that we have "lost" her birth mom.  I haven't wanted to share it for several reasons.  First, so many people don't get open adoption and quite frankly don't need another reason to not understand it.  Second, so many people don't try and understand birth parents, and I don't want people to judge these precious precious family members.  They are our family, so please understand how intimate and personal we hold them in our hearts.  But it's been nearly 2 years since we've seen Gerlisha, and we miss her terribly.  Sadie prays for her daily.  She cries for her.  She draws pictures of her.  She is only 4, so I am not sure what memories she has or if its just because we talk about her so much and tell her stories and look at pictures.  Whatever it is, it's real and it's painful.  I know adoption is layered and bittersweet, and we have been educated and counseled on how to walk through this with our loves.  I don't know where I would be without our adoption agency and their support.  But they don't know where she is either.  So this is me asking for prayer and only prayer.  Please do not judge our choices or Gerlisha's.  My hope is that she might follow the blog and see how desperately we need her, and that's why I am finally sharing this.  I am so thankful that I ALWAYS take pictures when we see our first families because we never want to take a day for granted. 

 Emery right before turning 2

 Cooper found a worm...he is such a boy loving dirt and bugs and all things boy!

 Priceless picture of me telling Owen thank you for smiling for the pictures...he HATES taking pictures so we bribed the kids with QT if they smiled!

 The girls had pajama day at school and watched Polar Express

 Owen's holiday party at school!  We had so much fun at his party and stole the idea to MOB the Neighborhood with love and give the holiday away.  It was cheap and helped the kids focus on OTHERS during the holiday instead of giving them a bunch of silly dinky knick-knacks.

 This was the girls party at school, even though we don't do Santa they got a kick out of seeing our pastor dress up and read a story. 

 Cooper's class party.  Isn't he such a handsome stud with that too cool smile? 

 I think since we never talk about Santa she was fascinated with him.  Ha!

Emery was just excited to get herself some candy!  This girl LOVES sweets! 

Simma Down

Did you ever see that SNL skit Simma Down Now? 

I feel like I need to settle down from all this wrestling going on in my heart.  It's intense in there.  And honestly, it's painful.  I don't want to hurt like this.  I feel actual physical ache in my heart for the facts that I have read about poverty, starvation, and the blind eye I have turned to this.  And then I remember that allowing a return of comfort would only be going back to where I was.  There is a reason God has stirred my heart.  I need to make changes.  To only feel guilty about this culture and go on with life is useless.  And to only speak about it, or the books, and change nothing is also sinful.  It is now blatantly obvious to me God has called us to something different. 

I am desperate for Jesus to work through me.  To use all of me.  And I am sad to say I have always held parts of me from Him.  Several of these books opened my eyes to that fact.  And in that truth, it brought me freedom that I have never felt to actually give Him every part of myself...just like He asked.  I have begun to really grab hold of the fact that this IS my responsibility.  The fact that 26,000 children die from starvation or preventable disease everyday makes my stomach turn.  It's horrific. 

"So when you and I hear staggering numbers and statistics about the poor and needy around us and around the world, we have a choice.  We can switch the channels on our mega-TVs and continue our comfortable, untroubled, ordinary, churchgoing lives as if the global poor don't exist.  We can let these numbers remain cold, distant, and almost imaginary.  Or we can open our eyes and our lives to the realities that surround us and begin considering the faces that are represented by these numbers....We can stand with the starving or with the overfed.  We can embrace Jesus while we give away our wealth, or we can walk away from Jesus while we hoard our wealth." David Platt, Radical

God just keeps speaking so clearly to me that I have become way too comfortable in my life.  That I can give Him all of me and I can completely trust my children, my marriage and my heart to Him. 

 Singing and dancing "If You're Happy and You Know It!"  She LOVES to sing!!

 Sister couldn't go to sleep one night and she got to snuggle with daddy and watch football.  Shhhh, don't tell her bigs!

 Happy 7th birthday OWEN!!!

 Story time before bed...they are so sweet to always smile for the camera!  This too shall pass!

 Happy 4th birthday Sadie!  She chose the Hello Kitty donut!

 That sweet chocolate skin doesn't hide any goodies we eat!  She loved the flower donut though ;)

So what does that change look like?  How does that unfold for each of us?  Certainly it will be different for all of us, so I won't stand up here like a dingbat and say we all need to do this or that. 

It's frustrating to see that we save, hoard and bicker about how much is enough to give when we know that people are dying every minute around the world. Jen Hatmaker's book 7 helped me to see how easily global hunger could be eliminated if we cared more about this than dog food, or perfume. Seriously!?!? We spend more on those than ending hunger.

I am excited to see all that is to come for us.  I am amazed that I feel acutely aware now about what true needs are and all that we live with that our culture says is a need.  It's embarrassing really.  God has called us to store up our treasures in heaven, not on earth...this is a battle, a war to not get caught up in the current.  Deep breath...  Is this the narrow road He meant?   I think so sister. 

Stir Crazy

I have been neglecting this little blog thing here.  But for good reason. 

God has moved something awful crazy in my heart.  My family thinks I need help. 

I am not a reader.  I rarely take the time to read anything, and sadly even reading the Bible had become blah.  (horribly sad to admit because of my deep love for Jesus). 

One of the more influential women in my life (Jen Hatmaker) wrote a couple of books.  And I had to read them because I love her and trust her. 

Well then that led to me finishing a book in 3 days which is UNHEARD of for me.  I usually get the the very end and then quit.  Wha?

So from June-now I have not been able to stop the constant reading.  She mentioned several books and other friends did too.  I am hungry again for words from Jesus, even if it takes these authors hitting me over the head with the reality that I have been ignoring some pretty big things. 

Here they are.  If you are needing a good read and are ready for something serious to happen in your heart, you cannot miss these. 

Radical- David Platt
Crazy Love-Francis Chan
Kisses from Katie-Katie Davis
Interrupted-Jen Hatmaker
7- Jen Hatmaker

I cannot think straight I am so conflicted with our life in America and the needs of those around us.  How did I become so comfortable with this?  How did I not see so many suffering and truly believe they are my responsibility?  How did I miss that in the Bible? 

I am ashamed.  I am disgusted.  I am achy.  I am stir crazy for wanting to DO SOMETHING.  And poor Blake has known all along that I am odd, but now I want to be really weird and actually do what Jesus asked us to do...lay down my life for Him. 

In the midst of all of this wrestling in my heart, we have gone full force into the foster care ministry with our new church.  We are floored by the needs in our community and state.  So two weekends ago we brought home 2 kids from the shelter for 3 nights over Labor Day weekend.  Our church got involved with DHS in a program called Home for the Holidays.  The idea is for faith families to become certified (approved?) to take children from the shelter for a holiday weekend.  We were honored to join 13 other families from our church in taking home 17 kiddos! 

It was such a great experience.  Don't get me wrong...it's wasn't convenient (we already have 4 lovies).  It wasn't comfortable.  It wasn't easy.  But hello believers...God never told us life would be any of those.  He kept whispering to me all weekend when I would get discouraged, "Life is not supposed to be comfortable sweets."  How have I let myself believe these lies for so long? 

As we drove the kids back to the shelter I was sick to my stomach.  Every child begged to not go back.  Not for lack of love, cleanliness and care there, but it's a shelter for heaven's sake!!!!  Kids belong in families.  And I didn't have any good reason why the kids couldn't stay (besides we needed more training to be certified).  I have room.  I have Jesus.  This weekend just felt like a band-aide for this gaping wound that was in my city.  The reality hit me that why do I not think that these children are just as much my children as the ones God has already blessed me with.  Didn't He say they are all His?  None of them are really "ours".




Please watch this amazing video.  Pray with me about what God has already asked us to do.  God doesn't call us...He already commanded us to do this.  When we give our hearts to Jesus, then we must do as He commands. 

Consider reading these books.  I beg it of my brothers and sisters. 

It's Friday, But Sunday's Coming

The precious baby doll I found at the Goodwill. Dang. I love that place. This was straight from Jesus. A dark brown soft doll that looked like Emery's version of Raggedy Ann for $1. She loves it and so does her big sissy ;o)

Great expression!

Could yellow look any better than on chocolaty smooth skin? I think not.

They decided to pull their allowance together to buy some cotton candy at the candy shop. Poor Emme just had to go along with it. The day is quickly approaching when she will no longer stand for the shenanigans and follow the guys...

Hey cutie patootie!

Skipping rocks with their daddy at Stone Mountain Park. Wow. This is a moment you dream about, right? Your husband being this kind of dad and teaching your kids this stuff. Lord, please help us to always slow down and embrace these sweet moments together and soak them up.

Early Monday morning at breakfast we were talking about Owen's decision to follow Jesus. Cooper said he believed those same things...and he wanted to give his heart to Jesus.

I have to admit, I wanted to say that he was too young, that maybe he didn't understand. But I knew better and by the grace of God I didn't say it. We kept talking. We talked about it here and there all day. And the verse about the faith of a child kept coming to me...

"Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Then gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them." Mark 10:14 The MessageSo Monday night, I not only prayed with Owen to accept Jesus...but then with Cooper. What a sweet and tender moment. One that I will never forget. After Cooper and I prayed he said, "So is he in there (pointing to his heart and donning a HUGE grin)?" He told us the next morning that he was no longer afraid of monsters because he had Jesus with him. Melt my heart!

And for my title...Cooper is in love with the video on YouTube "It's Friday, but Sunday's Coming." He watches it over and over. And he's uber protective of Sadie seeing parts of it that might scare her (the crucifixion from the Passion) and he makes her cover her eyes.

So to say this has been a dreamy week is an understatement. I told my parents that there will be no greater joy in my life than this...in all the wonderful miraculous things we have experienced with the boys; their birth, their birth mom, their adoptions finalizing, dedicating them to the Lord...being able to say the prayer with them to give their heart to Jesus tops it all.

I Refuse...

Sometimes I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's alright
When I know they're not

This world needs God
But it's easier to stand and watch
I could say a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong

But I refuse
'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, oh God

So, if You say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
Show them who You are



I hope you've heard this song...it so speaks of what my heart feels about our love for Jesus and our lives being lived out for Him. We cannot say we belong to Jesus and then live a life that resembles nothing of Him. If we do, then our hearts aren't truly His, right?

I thought of this song as I read a new link on our adoption agencies website. I hope you will take a second to read this...it's heart breaking and at the same time shows that we all need to say "I REFUSE" to sit here any longer. Did you know that even with all of the adoptions that we hear about and take place worldwide, that 14,050,000 children remain orphans and age out of the system every year!

God use me. Break me. Remind us that this life is not mine, but yours. Any fears we have about what you might be calling us to is not from you...for you do not give us a spirit of fear.

I am adopted

I love the adoption community. I feel like I've been rather plucked out of it here in the ATL. But, thank you Jesus for using facebook...I can keep my heart intertwined to those I have grown to love that share this passion.

I have "met" people that I never would have through adoption/orphan care ministries, adoption support groups, waiting mom's coffee groups, and yes...even facebook. It's amazing the support and encouragement there is out there if you just search for it.

I saw something a week ago that captured my heart and hasn't left my mind. It's a bold prayer that verbalizes THE reason more of us don't step forward into foster care and adoption. We forget who we are. Read this that was posted by a friend who is a mother in the beginning stages of foster care...

"Today I am thankful for God's adoption of me into his family. He looked at my life's file and saw all the selfishness, and anger and ugliness of my past and present, and he still chose to pursue spending eternity unconditionally loving me as his child. I pray he will give me the strength, grace and mercy to do the same."

If I had a nickle for every time someone told me they would LOVE to foster care/adopt, BUT...

This mom understands that SHE cannot do any of this without HER FATHER. None of us can, but we often forget that. She is no more equipped or ready than the rest of us. But she fully grasps that God can and will use her right where she is. Our lives are about HIM and not us.

Lord, please help us to understand that you died on the cross and forgave us of our sins so that we may live in FREEDOM!!! Not fear. Open our eyes Lord to the many excuses we give you for not obeying you...help us to see that for what it is. Fear. We aren't fully trusting you with every part of us; be it finances, our family, our entertainment, or our hearts. Remind us daily that you adopted us, fully aware of how messed up and needy we are. You took us and called us YOURS knowing we had special needs and that we would hurt your other children. And you did nothing but receive us time and time again with open arms. May we do the same.

Please join me in praying for Joe and Carrie pictured above. They currently have 3children and they are hoping to meet their 4 foster children this week.

Children of God

I am sorry I keep posting videos. But I just can't say it anymore powerful than these people do. I am not good getting out what's on my heart.

I so badly want to be able to do something...and I think that there is an opportunity with our church. I am so excited to see what happens. They have a program called Fostering Together. Their goal is to not only provide more homes for foster children, but allow the church to better support these foster families so that they not only survive the process, but want to continue to foster. We are not going to foster, but we can be a support family to a family already fostering. We can help with daytime care for them!

We still have to be approved and go through fingerprints and background checks and all, but it's just so exciting! After all is good to go they will match us up with a family. We'll keep you posted!

Show Hope

We Have No Choice

Bold statements here. God calls us to this. We have been made aware. And we have no choice but to do something.

"We should be leading the change on this, it's what Jesus calls us to do."

24,000

24,000 young adults age out of the foster care system every year...with no one to call their family.





If not you, then who will?

The Perfect Morning

This morning all munchkins slept in until 6:30! Then one by one, the bigs all piled into our bed. Blake and I smiled at each other, turned on cartoons and enjoyed the cuddles. And then we heard squeals from Emery's room. We all giggled it was like she knew something was happening without her. Off Owen ran and plucked her from her crib. She rules the roost when it comes to mama. She wants to be the one closest to me. So she climbed right on my chest, fanny in my face and watched cartoons with her big brothers and sister. I can't help but just love it. Oh how full my heart is.

Thursday was a fun day because I surprised the kids with slushes at Quiktrip. When I asked to take a pic, this is what I got. Look at those expressions! Oh my word!! They crack me up!

Look at Lil Bit. She is 16 months people! Yes. Her mama gave her HER OWN smoothie. I know. Tisk tisk. But look at the excitement on her face. Priceless.I think Sadie's smile says "thank you", don't you? I wouldn't let them get in the car until all pink slushy drinks were consumed or in the trash....so they climbed on it. Here she is a bit earlier as we were picking up Owen after school. She found the bag of popcorn for snack and started running with it. I was laughing so hard I could hardly snap the picture. Wrestle mania is one of our favorites...so is Tickle Monster. Emery has learned how to jump on daddy too. In fact, this night she saw Blake roughing Cooper and she walked up to him and slapped his face...hard and gave him the stink-eye. I love it!

With all of these sweet moments with the kids, the smells and sounds of fall, and the beautiful things happening in nature to remind us of God's power...I just can't help but think of foster kids. These videos I've found just linger in my mind and heart. I can't begin to imagine what it must feel like to be that alone. I am a strong, independent, deeply loved woman and I have felt alone here in this new city. And I am a well-adjusted 32 year old lover of Jesus. So being 4 and ripped from my home then shuffled from one home to the next is more than I can wrap my head around. Please pray for our system...pray for loving people to step forward.

1 in 5

Listen closely...please take 5 minutes to watch this.

1 in 5 children in foster care will age out of the system without a family or a home.

National Adoption Month

Just get ready. If you don't want to be constantly reminded this month of my passion for adoption...just take November off.

But as Thanksgiving approaches with all of the fun festivities we have in our lives for the next 2 months...please remember those without a family. There are children, tweens, teenagers and those aging out of our system daily. IN.OUR.OWN.CITY. Not to mention the millions world-wide.

They know turmoil, not the love of Jesus. They know abadonment, not unconditional love. They know judgement, not acceptance. Please watch this video and pray with me!

Help this mama out!

This is so exciting and I need lots of help with this post.

For any of you that have adopted or fostered transracially, please give your input too!

TargetShopper commented and needs help with what would be good to have for a one year old African American girl. They have been fostering and are pursuing adoption for this little one and her friends are giving her a shower!

Congrats TargetShopper on your newest addition. Here are some of the things I thought of:

• Tangle Teezer
  
• Comb Set (you can find these at WalMart)
  
• Styling brush


• Aquafor


• Barrettes, beads, bands.
  
• Extra Virgin Coconut Oil
  
• Hair Lotion (I like Just for Me because it's cheap at Walmart & Target)
  
  
• Leave In Conditioner & Styling Gel- what I have found is that there is nothing magical, it's just what works for you and your child. This might be fun for your friends to just start a collection for you to try. I would recommend smaller bottles so that you can try them out.


• Aveeno lotion (gobs and gobs of this)


• Kids satin sleep cap



• Satin crib sheets (I had someone make them on Etsy)
  
• Books with black children/families in them (The Colors of Us, God's Dream, Brown Like Me, I love My Hair, Please Baby Please, We're Different We're the Same, What I like About Me, I love you More than Rainbows, Beautiful)
  
  
• Ethnic Decor and Christmas decor (pictures, nativity, angels, santa, ornaments-find lots online) We use pictures of our kids and their birth family, but some may not have that.
  


• Childrens adoption books (Forever Fingerprints, Families are Different, How I Was Adopted, When God Found Us You)
  
• Life Box-not necessarily an AA thing, just a great adoption gift. Some type of box to keep all her private adoption stuff in: pics of birthparents, any letters/cards or keepsakes from birth parents, finalization stuff, etc. We got ours at Things Remembered
  
• Reading for Mama: Twenty Things by Sherrie Eldridge, I'm Chocolate You're Vanilla, Black Baby White Hands, The Connected Child
  
• Resources for Mama: Ethnic restaurants, transracial playgroups, transracial workshops in the area, support groups for families of adoption, multicultural events in town. Someone could put together a list of these things for you.
  
• Dolls- We can find black baby dolls in most Targets and some Walmarts, but also check out DollsLikeMe.com (they also have biracial baby dolls)

The ultimate gift of love was made by a friend. She bought us the black and white versions of the book I Love You So Much. Then she cut and pasted them to make us a book that matched our transracial family!

Hope this helps! This might be a great way to share ideas if anyone has things they've found that they want to share!