It would be hard to let today pass without remembering how our lives were changed on December 18th two years ago.
I wrestle with how much of Cooper's story to share because he doesn't fully understand it yet, and it's not really mine to share.
But in saying that, I also want to share in God's great miracles. Knowing that most of you that read this already know Cooper's sweet story and the struggle birthmothers have in choosing adoption for their children, I want to talk about today.
That struggle became ever so apparent when we brought Cooper into our family and we watched his birthmom grieve the loss of her son. It's something you would never want anyone to have to go through, let alone a woman that has touched you so much.
So, this day will forever stand out in my mind as one that changed our lives. We had to lose our sweet Cooper in order to surrender to God's plan.
I would never want Cooper's story to be any different than the way God wrote it.
It made me a better mother.
It made me understand in a new way the loss of a child that the birthmother experiences.
It made me appreciate my sweet husband as I watched him guide us through this situation.
It brought me to my knees and to my Father's side. I felt his presence like I never had before.
It was the nightmare I never wanted to experience, but at the same time I look back and know it was so good for me.
And, since you know that Cooper is forever a Shockley...you know the sweet ending!
Today I want to thank our families for dropping everything to be by our side as we searched for God's will in this. It was incredible the time you spent with us as we journeyed through this. I will forever be grateful for your presence.
Thank you to my friends and church family that prayed with us and over Cooper, your words and emails were so comforting.
Thank you Laura, mom and dad for helping me to go through Cooper's stuff...I will never forget those moments of finding Cooper's dirty clothes and I could smell his sweet body. I ached to smell him again and wondered if I would ever see him again.
Thank you Steph for helping me find something to remember Cooper by...you knew I was so scared that everyone would forget him.
Thank you Becki for calling me at night when it was hardest to breath.
Thank you mom for holding me that Wednesday morning as I wept. I clearly remember you telling me to invision Cooper in Jesus' arms. That gave me great rest.
Today I want to thank Mandy for Cooper and for listening to God even though it caused you intense pain. You amaze me with your wisdom and strength. I love you more than you know!