Please pray

Last week I took Sadie to have her 6 months pictures taken.

Sadly, I hadn't taken her to a professional photographer before...so I splurged on this (you know it's still super frugal, it just wasn't in the mall).

My good friend from church, Libby Hanon took these. Shamless plug!

These are only a few as she took over 350 in about an hour.

We had so much fun. It sure was nice knowing how much Libby loves our kids and to see how she handled Miss Sadie with love was incredible and enjoyable.

Missy decided she was going to make Libby work for a smile!

You know how she does...just takes it all in with those big beautiful brown eyes. Well that was how she felt this day...but again Libby managed to capture Sadie's incredible spirit and personality.

I decided that since this is my first daughter, I needed some special mother-daughter pictures!

I get teary when I think of how special these are now and will forever be for me and my sweet baby girl. But I also know how they will be special for Momma G to see how much Sadie is loved and enjoyed.

Okay, on to the prayer part and why you are just now seeing these.

I have had these pictures for a while and have struggled to post them on the blog because a dear friend of mine just lost her daughter that they were adopting. I know she doesn't want me to feel guilt, but I think every friend of Kim's is grieving right now and this is what I am experiencing, guilt.

Kim's story is tragic, as are all failed adoptions, but their family has experienced more than their fair share of tragedy in the last few years and I have to be honest that I have found myself quite angry about this too.

I am not an angry person, so I know that with prayer my anger will pass.

But for now, I am using that anger to spur on change (or spur on others to spur on change).

When my sister, Becki (the attorney sister), called to tell me about Kim, I had about had enough.

This is the second of my friends in the last month that have had adoptions fall through, almost the exact same situation.

You know I don't like to talk poorly about domestic adoption. It's the only thing Blake and I will ever do. We love it and are addicted to the journey of adoption.

But I do feel like the Oklahoma Law doesn't do a great amount to protect the adoptive parents when it comes to how the relinquishment is done.

For those of you that are not familiar with the law it is that birth mothers cannot relinquish rights until 48 hours after the birth of the child and it has to be done in front of a judge. Getting this court date scheduled can take 2 -3 weeks (as it was for all 3 of our kids). That leaves a lot of time to re-think your decision, which can be good and bad.

In Texas (and some other states) the relinquishment also has to be after 48 hours but can be done in the hospital by the state or an adoption agency.

So I asked Becki....

"Is it crazy to think we (and by we, I mean you) could change our law to be like the state of Texas?"

Becki said no it's not a crazy thought and immediately got to work on this.

She has researched and re-written the law to look more like some other states and is trying to get support to get it changed.

Now, I don't understand the lingo of what has to happen and who has to approve it, but I am very excited and I have great hope for this change.

She doesn't expect for it to be approved in June, but hopes it will be passed in November.

I am praying she is wrong and it will get passed in June.

Could you pray that if this is in the best interest of all parties involved, that it will go through?

My fear is that people are going to no longer be open to domestic adoption in OK because of the risks involved. I mean, this is not good PR for adopting in Oklahoma guys!

In saying that, I want to be clear that I only want this to pass if it also helps birth mothers make the right choice for themselves and their child. The choice that they had made coming into the hospital. The choice that they had planned on.

If you at all feel like I am not in support of birth moms, you couldn't be more wrong (and perhaps this is not coming across like I want it to).

Please go back and read my posts on how much I think they are heroes. They truly are a part of our family. But making them go to court, before a judge, alone with their attorney (no social worker can be present) while they are post-partum and hormonal... is not really in their best interest, is it?

In fact, Momma G was terrified about going to court. She had never had to stand before a judge.

Our agency has told us that sometimes the judges are rude to the birth moms, almost disrespectful. It's awful and not how they should be treated.

I hope you are getting an idea of why I think this is good for birth moms and for adoptive couples.

Please pray with me for this law to become something that honors both the adoptive families and the birth parent...and most importantly the child being placed.