Pits and Aspen

It's been a busy day...

I will start with my pits.

I got a call this afternoon from Representative Nelson's office asking if there were anyway I could meet with him @ 4 to discuss Cooper's Law!

I jumped at the opportunity and praised God for His timing! I had just come home from dropping the kids off at Blake's parents house for the night! I had the afternoon to myself and had no time to get anxious about this!!! (Well, okay I got anxious wondering why God was having me talk about laws? I am so not qualified.)

Thank you for all of you that prayed for me. Bad news first: I completely pitted out my shirt because I was so nervous! I tried to capture a picture of it because it was quite hilarious, but it just didn't do it justice. Good news: I didn't throw up and...

HE SUPPORTS COOPER'S LAW!!!!

Praise God for getting this into the right hands. We sat and discussed what some concerns might be and how we should handle that. We discussed why this needed to be changed and what other states already had laws very similar to this. It was such a wonderful meeting and he was so open to my concerns, and he felt this deep need to protect birth mothers. How great is that??? He gets it, from all angles.

He talked about how in trying to protect the adoption process, with this law how it currently stands, we've actually made it harder for birth mothers to place.

He wants to meet our precious Mandy and hear her heart on this law... How incredible is that? That's right Mandy girl, I'll be calling you to chat tomorrow!!!

Keep praying for this to move forward. As much as he supports it, he understands there will be opposition. He does not see this "moving to session" or moving this session??? See I shouldn't be talking about this. Essentially, this won't happen quickly because he felt like it was a big deal, but he said this law NEEDS TO CHANGE. It cannot stand how it currently does. Praise God!!!

On to Aspen...

So, you know how my heart has really been broken about this whole Aspen thing. To some of you this decision might seem so easy, but it has not been for me.

I have really been struggling with so much of this.

To be honest, I was struggling with what I would have to give up to be there for 3 months. Gag. I hate being honest about those shooie feelings. But that's where I have been.

I have been heartbroken about not being with Blake for 3 months and have tried to figure out ways we could cut that down (3 weeks here, 4 weeks there, 4 weeks here). But I had never conceded to the idea of us being there for 3 months.

Again, I know some of you are horribly disappointed in me, but my heart was just struggling and I felt I had good reason to struggle. Yes, I am 3 years old too.

But yesterday someone called me. Her name is Alli. She is a friend from church, a mentor from my MOMs Bible study. We have known each other for a couple years, but only had a few conversations outside of "hi" and "how are you?". She is precious. Recently she asked me about this year and I told her quickly of my struggle with Aspen.

She called yesterday and I missed her call, but called her back this afternoon.

The conversation that followed was clearly orchestrated by God. I struggled to talk fighting back tears. I quickly thanked her with a huge frog in my throat and hung up the phone and bawled.

I've been fighting God for months with this, and I seemingly had no clue. Because my concerns seemed 0h-so valid. Ugh.

Bottom line...I've not been setting out to serve my husband in this.

I've not been setting out to serve my children here.

This has been about me.

Gulp, sniff, bawl like a baby.

My goodness. God put my name on the heart of sweet Alli yesterday and she couldn't shake it. So she found my number and called me. She thought she was calling to see if we needed help finding housing (you know, 'cause that's what I have been blaming this on).

But I told her that last night we got an email from Colorado saying they secured a 2 bedroom apartment for us and it was close to everything.

She replied, "Well I thought you would have told me you were set then, you were going!" But I didn't. I was still struggling.

The conversation that followed is what made me so emotional. Blake needed me there. My kids needed Blake with them. Three months is long to these kids. Three months is a long time for a marriage!!! Why was I not doing this?

I know, to all of you, it's a "duh" decision. But for me, it's heart wrenching to admit that I wasn't choosing to serve my husband, but choosing what seemed easier for me. I wasn't choosing what would be best for my children and serving them...I was being fearful and not looking to God.

So, tonight I know one thing...we are ALL going to Aspen together. Our precious daddy who chooses to serve us with a job that is trying, needs our faces to come home to everyday. I have no idea how any of this is going to work out, but I choose to trust my God with each and every detail.

Thanks for the prayers and constant encouragement. Thanks for hanging in there with a low picture post!!!!