The day the boys first met...so so sweet. This has to be one of my favorite pictures ever! I didn't want anyone to think that maybe I had not posted because I had some secret I was hiding. NOPE, nothing new. Still waiting.
Or perhaps I am the only one STILL thinking about a baby. That very well could be the case. My mind and heart are trying so desperately to figure out where to be...hold out hope, or completely forget this idea and move on? I guess right now I am just trying not to focus on it and busy myself with stuff around the house and enjoying the kids and my fabulous hubs.
I don't even know what to pray for in regards to #4. Does that sound awful? But when I start honestly sharing my heart as I know that God asks me to, I can't help but feel high maintenance and have lots of questions I may never get answers to...and then that leaves me in a pit. Instead, I have chosen to keep my thoughts and prayers on my blessings.
Cooper is getting SO big, he has lost that little toddler look in his cheeks and his face seems to be turning into that of a young boy. He is still a such a softy inside, but at first he seems ever so sure of himself and strong. He's really not.
The lifeguard told him at the pool the other day to not dive in the 3 ft water (right after his mommy told him this). He was totally ignoring both of us, cuz ya know, that's what 3 year olds do...and the lifeguard got up and called out his name and came close to him. She wasn't being mean or getting on to him...she was just trying to protect him. He totally started crying. It broke my heart and once again reminded me how tender he is, even when he wants to appear so tough.
He is still really into Batman and Buzz Lightyear. He is a sensitive sleeper...hates to be woken up, but also hates it when Owen gets up and leaves him sleeping (reminds me of a sister of mine!) He is FAST! This kid can almost outrun Owen, he is extremely athletic and can play golf, basketball, baseball...you name it and he's pretty sure to look good doing it. He is sassy as all get out, but I give it to the age more than anything else. Let's just say we've been using plenty of hand soap to wash our mouths out for sassing our parents 'round here! Every time I do it, I can't help but remember my daddy doing this to me.
He's such an incredible kid...loves his sister so much he can't quit kissing her and playing with her. He's brave and trusts me when I ask him to do new things. He still can't say "Old Navy" and when he tells me of his brothers underwear choice for the day, he says "Mom, Owen is wearing Old Lady underwear!" I can't help but just about bust a gut laughing. Its the cutest thing ever. He LOVES doing everything himself and takes such great pride in it. As wonderful as this is, it does call for more patience on my part, and some explaining to others around us. I am used to letting Cooper do things for himself and go at his own pace, but others around us see him and want to help him. So they ask, "Do you need help buddy?" To which my adorably cute munchkins growls "NO!" as ugly as he can.
I could talk about Cooper all day. I could talk about any of them all day. They bless me to pieces. Each and every part of them, their curls and doing their beautiful hair, their fingers and toes and how they are all peach on the palms and soles. Their lips and lashes. I am absolutely and completely obsessed with these three and I still can't believe that I get to be their mommy.
So with my wandering mind and heart wondering what in the world God is doing with our family, I can't help but constantly go back to how we got here and rest easy knowing He knows what's best for our family.
4 comments:
he sure does know what's best. but i know it's hard to wait and wonder when we think we have a plan.
Cooper sounds so much like Holden. so hearing your description of age 3 scares me a little. :) I keep telling myself that it will get easier with my strong-willed independent boy. loved hearing about Cooper and will be waiting on posts for your other 2 blessings. praying for your heart as you wait on God.
I know what you mean about not knowing how to pray. I try to be honest with God when I tell Him that I am yearning for this little person. And then I get impatient and start thinking about all the children already born who need a family and we are a family so why not us? Then I think of the children in Africa and Asia and other places and see all the wonderful people adopting internationally and wonder maybe that should be us, too. Of course then I talk to my sweet adoption ladies and they tell me hang in there, this will happen. So what do I do? I am totally honest with God and tell Him I am getting desperate and that I need a "sign" that He is still in this and that this IS His plan, we just have to wait. As soon as I get to this point I think God hears me and feels my anguish because without fail He does give me a sign! Yesterday I was driving to go meet my MIL to pick up my kids and I was thinking, "I need to call Ms. Sara (adoption lady). I'll call her when I stop. Do you know that she called me probably 30 minutes later! Just checking on me and telling me to hang in there! God doesn't say, ok, girl, this will happen on such and such date and you will have your baby and name them...but He does help me wait on Him. Praying for you! Hang in there!
Molly,
What a beautifully written post that spills with the love you have for your family! Thanks for your honesty, it was refreshing to read.
Love ya,
Courtney Connelly
Such a beautiful post - almost had me in tears. I love your love for those kids. They are such a blessing and so beautiful! I can't wait to see what God has in store for your little family - I know it will be good...that's why He's keeping us waiting :)
Erin
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