I am feeling the need to have a post on adoption...I know, SHOCKER!
The other day, Cooper was having a hard time falling asleep during naps. I heard some wrestling around and peeked in to find him flipping through some of his books in bed. As I was picking up the books, I found he had stashed a picture frame of Mandy, Blake and I that was taken the first time that we met her. She was 36 weeks pregnant with our pumpkin, Owen!
I asked Cooper if he missed Mandy and he shook his head yes.
I asked him if he thought about her a lot, again he shook his head yes.
I kissed his head and told him that I missed her too and perhaps we should call her or draw a picture for her.
It was such a sweet moment.
In our adoption classes they talked about how important our child's birth parents will be to them. This was something we understood, but it is difficult for some adoptive parents to accept. If you get down to the root of that idea (not accepting that bond between child and birth parents) its pride and fear. I truly believe if you want to have a healthy adoption, the adoptive parents have to work through these feelings.
We also learned that most adoptees think about their birth parents EVERYDAY! I think its easy to get busy and forget to talk to them about their birth parents. It's easy to put them to bed and forget they might be missing them, wondering about them, questioning that relationship.
Blake and I feel like we do a good job talking to the boys about their adoption and their birth parents. But this was a great reminder that we need to separate them and discuss it. It reminded me to discuss them when things are quiet and calm and their minds wander.
Later that night before bed, they both wanted to sleep with their own picture of Mandy. I can't even begin to describe the love that I have for this woman and how thankful I am that these boys love her and appreciate her too.
If you are an adoptive parent, I encourage you to read "Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew" by Sherrie Eldridge. It is amazing to say the least. It just helps you to understand where they are coming from and how you can help them to deal with possible issues they may face. I even gave it to my mom, mother-in-law, and one of my sister's to read. It's an incredible resource.
I also have another great book of hers called "Forever Fingerprints" that is written for children about 4 years and older. I cry every time I read it to the boys!
Another reason I have been wanting to do this post is that I have "met" so many blogger friends that are "waiting" to be chosen, or have recently been chosen and are waiting on their bundles of joy. I have church friends who are just starting the process and feeling the intense excitement coupled with a touch of fear. I hear stories daily of people that are wondering if God is calling them to adopt and love getting to know more about this journey through ours!
I love being able to share our stories. I love learning more from you all!
It's so exciting to me to hear so much talk of adoption. So, I had to share these thoughts! Please know that we are praying for so many of you as you are walking in this journey with us!
I got this in a package in the mail from a dear friend. I thought you all would love it too! It is a sweet charm with a card enclosed that reads:
The Gift of Adoption
Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift. II Corinthians 9:15
For a child you prayed
He heard the request
And that of the birth Mother
who wanted the best
The prayers of each other
He merged together
Directing our paths
He brought us together
From His own hand into yours
God created me
Then you chose to take me
A parents love birth deep
in your heart
Our lives are now blessed
thanks be to God
for knowing what's best.
For the Might One has done great things for me, and Holy is His name." Luke 1:49