"So promise me you'll never forget...that you aren't an accident or an incident...you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art, signed by God. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth...Flooded by emotion, overcome by pride, the Starmaker turns to us, one by one, and says, 'You are my child. I love you dearly.'" Max Lucado, God Thinks You're Wonderful

Monday, August 8, 2011

First Day Jitters

We had our first day of school today. And let me say it's ridiculous to wake kids at 6:30 to be at school at 7:20. That just seems nuts when you are 5,4,2 and 1.

But the kids got up easily and ate rather well despite the darkness. I was amazed at how quickly our routine went and that we were actually early to school. We walked Owen to school and it was SO nice out. As we started to say our goodbyes after snapping a few pics my lil buddy started having a hard time. I was a little caught off guard because he did so well last year, and although this was a new school, he didn't know a soul at the start of last year either. We talked a bit, hugged a lot, said a quick prayer, tried distractions...I was panicking. What do I do?

In everything I've read, people say don't hang around and drag it out. Make it a quick good-bye. I tried to scooch out the door (easier said than done when you have 3 others toddling with you). He followed us out the door 3 times. Talk about rip your heart out. He was begging me not to leave him. Oh lands. I thought I would be stronger than this. It was so hard, but I kept from crying in front of him. I was wracking my brain for how to help him. Take it one day at a time, buddy. You can do this. I will be back just after recess. We can do something fun as a treat. Nothing. Big fat tears. I felt like a huge failure.

I watched him finally enter and sit next to his peers on the carpet and wipe his eyes. He was so embarrassed. I let my guard down and totally couldn't stop crying. Another parent said, "Did he not do pre-k?" I explained that we just moved to town, but yes, we had. Now I have to clear the seemingly longer hallway pushing a double stroller and try to hide my ugly cry. You can do this Molly. It was like the walk of shame. I was that mom. I didn't really care. If my child says those things, I'd have been stone cold to not be emotional with him. I couldn't get that sweet face and those words out of my head.

I strolled to the park with Coop, Sadie and Emery. Thank God they all played like nothing had happened. I was numb. I couldn't stop those tears from sneaking up. By 8:10 I had quit crying enough to load them up for Cooper's drop off. Lord, please let this be easier or I am packing this gang up and heading west. Cooper acted like it was no big deal. His sweet teacher took one look at my puffy eyes and said, "Arya okay?" in her sweet Gawja accent. Uh-oh. Here they come again. Cooper was now embarrassed of me. I apologized, explained and quickly departed after some pics and snotty kisses from this kooky mom. I am a nut.

I run some errands with the girls. Let Emme nap. Distract ourselves for a few hours then start the pick-up routine. Cooper did fabulous and had a great time. He has 12 in his class at a small private church pre-k program. Then we eventually walk to pick up Owen. Randomly, and because I will talk to anyone...I was making conversation with another set of parents. Their child was also in Kindergarten. So I told them mine was in Mrs. Scott's class to which they said, "Oh, is she back?" What? Well, yes. I must've seemed confused. They questioned more, and I answered more. Come to find out, Owen's teacher is actually out on maternity leave. No one told us this! No lie. We came on "Meet Your Teacher Day" and assume the lady in his room is his teacher. She had no badge which I thought was weird. She never introduced herself and was a little cold for a kindergarten teacher. But my MIL and I tried not to be judgemental. Oh my lands. I am a bit peeved. Who was gonna inform us of this? Aren't I the idiot. Deep breath. It's not a big deal.

Owen's picture with his teacher...or is it? She isn't. If you take a magnified look at that ole name tag therr. This is Eileen or something. Dadgum.

At pick up. I was so relieved to see his sweet smile. Seriously...a huge weight lifted.

Tonight at bedtime Owen picked "Owen's Walk". Whoa. Was that ever appropriate. It's a great read about always walking with our Savior that is explored through the eyes of a little boy on a hike. It shares, "My God is my rock. I can run to Him for safety. He is my shield and my saving strength, my high tower." Psalm 18:2 And, "Listen my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path." Isaiah 41:10 Then, "Don't be afraid. The Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go." Joshua 1:9

So thank you to all of you the prayed for us today. Today I couldn't be more thankful for my faith. So many people reminding me that even though we are removed from all that is familiar to us, we still have the Shockley 6 and our Savior who never changes.

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him!" -Psalm 37:5


Melodie said...

This made me cry a little. I can't even imagine sending mine off to school! And it made me laugh that you embarrassed Cooper. Glad y'all made it through your first day!!

Norma said...

NOW that the first day of school is behind you, the Shockleys ARE settled in Atlanta! Everything is downhill from here!! So thankful when we heard Owen came hoe with a smile.. Just knew he would... God takes care of even the smallest things that are so huge to a momma.. YOU are an incredible Mom, Molly! So proud of you for how you handled the day! Love, Mom

Cindy B. said...

Wish I could hug your neck right now- you did it mama! day one is down in the record books. I love seeing pics of those sweet faces. You're one incredible mother.