"So promise me you'll never forget...that you aren't an accident or an incident...you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art, signed by God. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth...Flooded by emotion, overcome by pride, the Starmaker turns to us, one by one, and says, 'You are my child. I love you dearly.'" Max Lucado, God Thinks You're Wonderful

Friday, March 5, 2010

Playing while we wait

Seriously, how cute are they??? Sadie LOVED her yogurt to dip her apples in. Yet another display of Owen's sweetness. He got his pillow and blankie and made a place for Sadie and Cooper to lay on while he pulled them. Below he is covering her and telling her she can chew on his blanket if she wants (that's what he does). I love how he's stooped down to talk to her.

I forget how much kids Sadie's age eat dirt!!! She is constantly eating grass, sand, leaves and such! Why in the world doesn't she do that with food? Is my cooking that bad?

Now if this doesn't capture the essence of childhood, I don't know what does. Shoes on backwards, sucker in, eyes closed and the smell of spring in the air. Not a care in the world!

Well, we couldn't have better weather these last several days. It's made waiting on Miss KK much easier!

We saw C yesterday afternoon and played at the park. It was so much fun that we stayed until 6! When the kids go to bed at 7, that's staying late! We came home to Blake cooking breakfast for dinner for all of us!

Needless to say, we are feeling incredibly blessed. We are soaking up every bit of this anticipation believing that Kennedy will come home to us. But we also know that it is very real that she may not.

It takes balance (and a lot of self talk!) to enjoy this time, and not give into fear of what ifs and how we will get our children and ourselves through that. But we also know, because we've had adoptions fall through before, that He is faithful and will never leave us. Only He knows the outcomes for Kennedy and our family. We keep going back to that baby that we lost before Sadie and how if we she had become a Shockley, then we wouldn't have sister. Whoa.

So today, we rest in the goodness of anticipating something so wonderful as new life. But we also wait knowing what C is about to experience. We realize that we don't "know" it as if we've been birth parents, but we know it because we've watched our birth moms walk it before. It's the most intense mix of emotions at the hospital, and you'd be cheating yourself and your child to not let yourself experience those fully. It's such a raw time, and yet so wonderful and sweet. I've told so many people how spiritual this process is, I feel the presence of Christ so heavily in those moments and we always walk away deeply changed.

Not so sure how she feels about getting this kiss, but it sure was cute! You are such a wonderful big bro Coop!


norma murphy said...

I can just see "Miss KK" alongside these 4!! God is so good and I can't wait!! Love, Noonie

Kristy said...

As always I love love love this post! I feel like Mister Aaron is missing out not having a sibling so close in age I guess only God knows.

Keith and Judy said...

I just keep checking back to see if KK has arrived!! I am so excited for you all. Thank you for being so candid about your experiences with C. You really take the time to show how hard yet wonderful the adoption experience is for all involved.

Melodie said...

I love this post. Everything about it. The wagon made me laugh. Loved your words about C. But as I see those last few pictures, I have to wonder how you will squeeze one more growing kiddo into that tub. It will be a tight fit but I bet you can manage if the boys slow down on their eating! :) Hugs to you all. Thinking of you daily!

A Growing Family said...

They are so precious! I have got to meet them! Hopefully on my way to Tulsa next time we can make a pit (play) stop at your house!!!

mom2many said...

Just saw your post on facebook...congratulations!! Praying for all involved, that there would be no fear, no what ifs, only the peace that passes understanding for you and Miss "C". Can't wait for pics!! I'm shopping around for chocolate baby girl hair care as I type!!