"So promise me you'll never forget...that you aren't an accident or an incident...you are a gift to the world, a divine work of art, signed by God. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth...Flooded by emotion, overcome by pride, the Starmaker turns to us, one by one, and says, 'You are my child. I love you dearly.'" Max Lucado, God Thinks You're Wonderful







Thursday, July 16, 2009

I Like Myself...

For a while now I have been wanting to share about a book that I have come to LOVE. There was something that happened this week that reminded me to share.

Luckily, the books that I love will only take you 3 minutes to read because right now that's all the reading I do is in children's books.
My MIL bought Sadie this book, but its become a favorite for our whole family...even the boys love it.

It's called "I Like Myself" by Karen Beaumont. The book is all about how this little girl likes herself no matter what anyone else may think or say about her. She talks about how it's silly for someone to think they could know who she is just by her appearance. I have read this book to the kids 50 times and just recently did I apply it to myself.

I actually thought about how much I put into my appearance. **GULP**
I don't think I am vain, and hope none of you think that either, but it did occur to me that I spend more time running in the morning than time reading scripture. **bigger gulp**

I spend more time in the bathroom getting ready for the day than I do in prayer for myself and my family. Dear Lord, what's wrong with me? I am 30 and have been reading this to my kids for almost a year now and am just realizing that I am going to teach them to accept themselves by the way I like myself and model that for them.

You know how much I want them to love their heritage and their beautiful skin. And here I am not liking myself. What in the poo?
And then it happened. My sweet husband told me on Sunday night that it had happened. We put the kids down and then I ran to the store. When I got home at 9, the boys were still up. This is WAY past their bedtime. I asked Blake what was going on and with tears in his eyes he told me that Owen told him he couldn't go to sleep because he was thinking about something. He told Blake that he didn't want to be brown anymore. *tears*

He told Blake he wanted to be peach like him. I'm sobbing now.

We know that Owen understands nothing negative about his skin, but that he wants to be more like the man he adores. He wants to match Blake.
Blake handled it so well and told Owen how beautiful his skin is. He pulled out I Like Myself and read it to both of them and talked about how God knit our family together so perfectly and He knew we wouldn't match but that it made us more beautiful.
He told Owen about when he was little he didn't like his "spots" either. When Owen was first discovering color he found Blake's moles and called them brown spots and noted that they matched him. He told Owen of how he wished he didn't have them when he was little, but now he loves them because they make him more like the kids.
I told him the same about my freckles. I hated those suckers when I was in middle school.
As much as we think this is about being black and white, its not. I am sure one day we'll deal with those issues. But this day it was about just accepting and loving how God made us. It's about liking ourselves and not focusing on appearance.
I certainly am not saying that it's okay to "let yourself go" but I do think there is a point at which we need to look at how much energy or thought we put into our physical self over our spiritual self. I personally needed to realize that teaching my children to accept their brown skin comes in the form of modeling for them that I like myself!

17 comments:

Melodie said...

ah such a good post. and props to Blake! i say it handled it well. better than well!

Aubrey said...

That brought tears to my eyes. You have such a beautiful family and I love how you guys relate with your children. You always seem to know how to handle even the trickiest of situations with your little ones. I hope as M grows that I can be that for her. You guys are great examples and I hope to learn more from you guys! Thanks for sharing this.

This book IS great! I used to read it to my first graders and we had a little rhyme w/ movement that we would do after we read the book. They always loved this one and I did, too! I need to dig it out soon and read it to M.

Have a blessed weekend!

mom2many said...

Such a great post...and much needed in my own life as I am dealing with the effects of the "other side" of "35"! You are such a sweetie!

Julie said...

This is so sweet, Molly. You guys are such wonderful parents and have a beautiful family! I would love to be more like you as a mommy. :) I am going to have to get this book!

G & H said...

AW now I am totally in tears! What a great message about how much time we spend on ourselves compared to God...and Owen's story ...My heart was just ...oh man out of the mouth of babes right?

What a beautiful family you have!

Fether said...

hey beautiful lady....wonderful post!

Becki Francy said...

oh sister....like an idiot I decided to pull it up at work...as I sat at my desk balling, I wanted to run to mom and dads and hug my Owen. You are so right. I love Blakes words....he is so wise. You are so right....how sad how much time I can spend on my outward appearance...and with a daughter, I need to be especially careful....

So thankful for your family....

Ursula said...

I like you too! And I love your precious kiddos. What a touching post. You 2 inspire me as parents. My prayer is that every last one of you Shockley's would see the beauty of who you are.

Julie said...

Wow! Good stuff Molly! Beautiful reminder that we are Christ's workmanship, created in His image and He does not make junk or mistakes! You and Blake are exactly what He ordered for Owen's parents! That little man is going to grow up and change his world because of all the beauty and truth you all are pouring into him! You Rock!
Love ya,
Julie

Laura said...

Wow, so many things going through my mind. You are so right about all the things we spend our energy and time on, but not finding time to study God's word. Thanks for the reminder....

And...Blake...I love him. He is such a great father....God perfectly picked him for you and your children. I wouldn't have known what to say, and he handled it so well.

I love you sister! Thanks for sharing...

Anonymous said...

I too have that book for Madisyn....she and I both love it. Your post just reminds me that I need to read it more... thank you Moly for your wonderful wisdom!!!
What an amazing post!!!!!!!?!!!!


Maya

Brklacich Family said...

Oh my! It must be the hormones, but I cried through this post. You guys are the perfect parents and I hope one day I can be half the parents you guys are. Such a shining example of Christ! Tell your kids we love them.

Chassidy said...

Wow-what a powerful post. I'm going to get this book for little Turner (and me) tomorrow. Thanks for always being so transparent....you teach me so much

Kristy said...

I need that book sweet post Molly, Tracey and I met for lunch for the first time the other day and talked about next time we need to have you coem too!

Rob and Kathy Gandy said...

Molly, first of all, I meant to let you know that we, too, are VERY concerned about the movie "ORPHAN". We have been parents for almost 39 years...adoptive parents for almost 36. We have decided, sadly, that we will NEVER be able to get away from people who say/imply that some of our kids aren't our "real" kids or that we aren't their "real" parents! That is a hard thing to accept, especially when some of the comments/attitudes come from people close to us...sadly, yes, some from other family members. :o(
It NEVER stops hurting that what is a miracle to us (the way God put our family together) isn't regarded as a miracle to some. It still hits me SO hard when I realize that. Just this week, a precious relative, who WAS adopted in court one day many years ago, and since that day has just been our REAL niece, told us about some friends of hers who have just adopted a beautiful 12-year-old girl. I was SO thrilled by that news...then immediately saddened to remember that "ORPHAN" is coming out soon. How will that precious little girl deal with that movie being in the news all the time for awhile? How many of her new family and friends will SEE that movie and have things planted in their heads about the way she came into their family? Like you, we pray that every family that has been blessed by adoption will boycott that movie and speak out to the people they know about it. Now, about your NEW blog entry....
Oh, my goodness!! I can't thank you enough for the honesty with which you share your family's struggles and blessings!! I don't even know you, though we know your precious Stephanie, but we love your family. Your children are dear to our hearts, so Owen's words brought tears to our eyes. Bless his little heart! He, Cooper and Sadie are SO beautiful. We love it that you and Blake love your moles/freckles because they are brown like your beautiful kiddos. Maybe you and Blake are really BROWN with WHITE SPOTS? ;o) God gave Blake and then you the perfect words to say with the help of that wonderful book. Our 7 grandkids need to see that book, for sure! I wonder if there is a version of that book for preteens and teenagers? If not, why don't you write those books, Molly? We would buy them! We have THREE 2-year-old granddaughters who would love the book your kids have. Then, we have two granddaughters who are 9 and 10. The two oldest grandkids are a boy who is almost 13 and a girl who is 16. If you hear of any books on this subject that are appropriate for those two latter age groups, please let me know. I know that Stephanie would love some for her girls, too.

I will be 62 in August. One of the best things about getting older is that the issue you spoke of in this post gets easier with age. That kind of makes up for the things that aren't so good about aging. :-P I still need SO much more wisdom than I have, for sure, but I thank God that He's not through with teaching me what IS a big deal and what ISN'T. You've heard, I'm sure: "Don't sweat the small stuff. (It's all small stuff!)" SO true! Women, especially, are under SO much pressure to look and dress "young". We havfe to remember that "God looks on the heart".

God has blessed us with your blog, Molly. We thank Him AND you! Love in Christ, Rob and Kathy Gandy, Ada, Oklahoma

Sweet Patience said...

Molly,
This was a touching post.
I am not for sure if I was prepared for reading this one!
You all handled it quite well. Continue to show them love and make them feel beautiful in their own skin. I am sure the conversations will get deeper in the future, but you are doing a good job preparing them for society. Most of all making sure that they love who they are.

Bec said...

What a beautiful, and touching story! We LOVE this book, and think it has so many precious lessons to teach us all. Thank you for your fearless telling of this story!